2012? Try Neal Caffrey!
by MyBodyIsBrokenYoursIsBent
Summary: Lauren couldn't help but feel wary every time Neal was around.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is dedicated to Aquawolfgirl. Thanks for making me write this.**

** 2012-Child's play,**

**Try Neal Caffrey!**

Lauren couldn't help but feel a little wary whenever Neal was nearby. It's not that she was afraid he'd do something stupid like steal her wallet or check her mobile phone behind her back, but a man with that amount of charm made any sane FBI agent wary. Or it should. It sure seemed like the transfer didn't know that. What was her name again? Mary? Miriam?

'Misha!' So glad you could join us!' Was that… dare she say it? SARCASM!? Since when is Peter Burke sarcastic!?

'Hello, Peter. Still here, I see. Can't handle the excitement hands-on action brings?'

'I have just enough excitement to get me through the day, thank you very much. Oh, and to keep me from losing my job.'

'I have no idea what you're talking about. Now will you introduce me to your consultant or should I take matters in my own hands?' And, yes, she was actually flirting with the con-man. A senior FBI agent! What has the world come to?

'I think you do know what I'm talking about. And he's not my consultant.' Say what? 'He's agent Cruz's consultant. Right, agent?' With the look he just gave her, Lauren would have agreed with Peter even if he said Caffrey was her husband.

'Yup. That's right. Caffrey's my consultant.' Thank God she kept herself from snorting. Just the though of having to deal with him pretty much 24/7 made her want to: a)start laughing like a maniac or b) book a flight to Africa (maybe she'd get lucky and a lion would eat her…).

'I would love to stay here and chat with you, Misha, but I have to go. I need to look over some files. Cruz, Caffrey, come along.'

If only looks could kill… You didn't need to be a genius in order to notice that Misha well… she hated Peter's guts. And as improbable as this might sound, the feeling was mutual.

As soon as the door to Peter's office was slammed shut by a very enraged owner, Neal walked right into the lion's mouth and asked THE QUESTION:

'What was that about?'

'Lauren, I need you to take care of Neal for as long as the harpy is staying here. And if I have a say in this, that won't be terribly long.'

'Umm, OK, but… Can I at least know why? You are asking me to subject myself to torture, after all.' That gained a raised eyebrow paired with a cocky smile. A particularly charming cocky smile. Which increased the above mentioned wariness.

'She's a cougar and she's trouble. I think that's enough to make me want to keep her away from Caffrey. You know what? Why don't you guys take a few days off? Until I clear things up?'

'Come on, Peter! You can't be serious! What's wrong with me being close to her? It's not like we're going to do more than harmless flirting.' And the devilish grin that accompanied that last statement sure helped the cause, Caffrey!

'It's not you I'm worried about. It's Lauren. Now how about you two go think about that statement in a nice, cozy place. I was thinking Italian would do.'

'Wait, boss, are you sending us to a restaurant?' Had the man finally gone bonkers?

'As a matter of fact, yes, I am. Now run along. Jones will drive you. JONES! Come here!'

And that was how it began. The end. (Seemed like surviving 2012 really was wishful thinking. Lauren would be lucky if she passes 2010 unharmed.)

**AN: So what do you say? Should I continue? Yay or nay?**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thank you to all those who reviewed the first chapter. I really appreciate feedback.**

**Chapter 2**

He knew it sounded cliché and ridiculous, but Peter remembered all his firsts. He remembered his first kiss (he had avoided Sarah for a full week after that), his first fumbling session with a girl (he avoided Jane for a full month) and he sure as hell remembered his first assignment for FBI! The bad part was that he couldn't exactly avoid Misha after the dreadful experience known as 'Peter's first time with a gun outside of the Bureau's training sessions'.

Another thing he could clearly remember was the first time he had seen Misha after he transferred to the white collar division. It was at a prosecutor's office and he could almost feel the dread he felt then. It was the biggest inside scandal the office had to face. And no, he wasn't talking about the fact that it took them a ridiculously long time to catch 'Luigi'. He was thinking more in the lines of catching 'Luigi' and Misha getting at it on the prosecutor's office. And no, he still didn't know where the prosecutor had been at the time. But he sure as HELL remembered the fact that she didn't even seem apologetic. Perhaps a bit afraid, but that was only until she realized it was him. After all, what could a senior FBI agent fear from the successful newbie. Not much and she knew that.

It was for those reasons and a few others he'd rather not consider now that he passed Neal to Lauren for as long as the dreadful woman would be anywhere near their office. He was fairly certain he did not want to find Neal and Misha on his desk or something equally horrifying. It's not that he wouldn't relish the opportunity to get Misha kicked out, but he was quite convinced Neal would be the one worse for wear in that probable situation.

So Lauren it was! He felt kind of sorry for the girl though. She seemed like such a nice person… She didn't deserve a week of Neal… Hell, nobody did! But it was for the best. And to be honest, he wasn't sure he'd be able to take a full week of Misha AND Neal combined. Let's face it; he just wasn't that young anymore!

So what exactly was he supposed to say to excuse his inexcusable behavior? He wasn't sarcastic, he sure as hell wasn't disrespectful to senior agents, he didn't pass Neal Caffrey to poor, unsuspecting junior agents and he didn't slam office doors. So what was he supposed to answer Neal? What was that really about!? Was he having some sort of… *shudder* paternal strike towards Neal? He must tell El they need to adopt another dog. That should keep the inappropriate paternal feelings at bay.

"Peter? What was that about?" asked Neal for the second time.

"Well I've been giving the matter some thought lately and I decided that you should expand your working horizons. And since I've always been fond of multitasking, I decided that while we're working on that we might as well improve the working relationship between agents and consultants, specifically you. In other words, you'll never know when you and Lauren for example might be forced to cooperate and if my memory doesn't fail the only other attempt at doing such a thing resulted in Lauren suggesting you get killed so… "

"So you decided to make me babysit him? Good thinking, boss! You're a very good planner. And a very good multitasker. And you're also very good at getting rid of agents by sicking them against one another. Brilliant!"

"Now, Lauren, no need to be sarcastic. Peter here had only good intentions. Plus, 'sick' isn't an appropriate word to use when referring to humans. As a matter of fact it is only used when referring to dogs." If only that remark wasn't accompanied by an infuriating smirk Lauren might have actually considered taking him seriously. But the smirk came and Lauren's patience snapped.

"Ok. I can't do this. I can't focus on my enormous amount of files and babysit him at the same time. How about you ask Jones for help? He should improve his relationship with Neal also."

"That one is improved. Jones actually listens to Neal and helps him out with things like searching for someone's files or digging for information. As a matter of fact, everybody has a decent working relationship with Neal, except you." said Peter.

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing? He's an ex con-man for Christ's sake! It's not like he's reformed or something! For all I know he could dig up information about us after hours just for fun. I don't trust him and whoever does is nuts!"

And that was crossing the line. And Lauren did not EVER cross the line. She might carefully step on it occasionally but she always retracted her foot when things got bad. But now things had gotten bad before she had time to retract the leg. Oh, boy!

"Agent Cruz, I believe you and Caffrey need a week of. Think things through. Make a list about the reasons you're paranoid around Neal and send it to me by the end of the week. Meanwhile, you two should work on knowing each other. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a bitch to take down."

"I think you just made Peter angry." stated Neal carefully.

"You think?"

**AN: I really need a beta. Volunteers?**


End file.
